Pop Cesspool

I'M HOPELESSLY STUCK WITH A FICTIONAL, PHILANDERING, FLAWED AD-MAN AS MY COMFORT

.	"Because I'm sick of being batted around like a ping-pong ball. Who the hell is in charge? A bunch of accountants trying to turn a dollar into $1.10? I want to work. I want to build something of my own. How can you not understand that?" *

* Photo does not conform with actual scene of quoted dialogue. I blame it on AMC.

THIS VIDEO WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER IF IT HAD ACTUAL JEWS IN IT

More specifically: Get a really famous Jewish comedian (I'm thinking Mel Brooks, Howard Stern, Sarah Silverman, Jerry Seinfeld, Joan Rivers, maybe?) to shout the "JEW!" part. Unintentionally hilarious, it's Benz and Jewman, "I Might," and they're both kinda sweaty:

YOUR STRATEGY FOR PURCHASING JUNG'S 'RED BOOK'

This is for your own good, trust me, Mr. Psych Major: C.G.'s shiz is down to like $115 on Amazon, but seriously, don't buy it now. Wait like six months until dudes start selling it to used bookstores so they can get money for weed.

YOU ARE READING AN ITEM ON A BLOG

HTC wants You to know that You are doing things ...

... and in a much more deliberate and '90s-spoken-word kind of way, Soul Coughing once wanted You to know that it was 5 a.m. and You were listening to Los Angeles, and that You you were going to Reseda to make love to a model from Ohio whose real name You didn't know:

Man, that video and that song have not aged well.

'3 NIGHTS, 4 SHOWS, 17,350 GERMANS'

No, it's not a schieze-film festival. It's information provided by this promotional video from Blahzay Blahzay, a favorite around Your Cesspool Parts. Blahz is back. We love some Blahz. I think we even have the "Danger" CD single in the vault. And yeah, we lied about going on hiatus. Suck it. Video:

HIATUS (?)

This postseason-baseball thing is dry-humping some of the life out of me. Or maybe it's Other Stuff that is dry-humping some of the life out of me. Or maybe it's the Crack. Oh well. In the meantime, here's a picture of Pedro Martinez and Nelson de la Rosa:

 

TOTALLY UNRELATED BONUS: Interview with Vincent Locke, the guy who makes album covers for Cannibal Corpse and also illustrated "A History Of Violence." BLOCKQUOTE, YO:

The only hard part is not being able to let my kids see some of the artwork. There are times they can’t come in my studio. Since I work at home, they often come and go and see what I’m working on. But there are definitely times where they need to stay out, or I work out a way they won’t see it accidentally. Some stuff is not for kids, right?

END BLOCKQUOTE, YO!

I WAITED FOR THE DVD

Hey pals, I am recently and totally enamored with the intro to Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Move Film For Theaters. It makes me feel the same way I felt when I heard thrash metal for the first time. I can't remember that moment, but I can remember what I felt like. It was the '80s, maybe there was chocolate milk involved. Vision Street Wear, maybe? A Chevy Vega? Your mom? One of those little smoke bombs that you buy at the drug store in late June? A scraped knee? Spontaneous erections? It's this. Mastodon did it:

STUPID AWESOME BONUS: "Guitar Hero" custom:

HILARIOUS DUELING PRESS PHOTOS: ROB T. vs. DEV B.

WHY SO SERIOUS?

Rob Thomas

Devendra Banhart

(They're both on the "upcoming schedule" wall at the 9:30 club right now.)

BIOLOGY WILL GET U EVERY TIME

(Photo from Flickr user 66Baseball)

Yer Poppa complained loudly about the fact that many of the Phils' first-round playoff games were on the boobtube at inconvenient times -- like, uh, 2:30 p.m. on a Wednesday, when even Your Friendly Office Bourbon Fiend might have a hard time saying "I gotta get LUNCH" with a plausibly straight face. Now I'm wondering if all this prime-time October baseball action is only a mirage of convenience. Because on Monday night, I fell asleep well before Jimmy Rollins hit that double, and I awoke only to the sound of TBS announcers pulling their tongues out of their tracheas. Dude, I'm an old man, and an 8:07 start time only guarantees that I gotta guzzle some PG Tips or a Mt. Doo-Doo to stay awake for all 9 innings.

STEAL THESE ROLLER DERBY NAMES

Patty Dookie | Doris Dookie

IT'S ALSO VAGUELY 'GOATSE'

Y'know when you're telling a joke about somebody being born, and you cup your hands tightly over your face, and you push your face through your hands, and it kinda looks like somebody coming out of a vagina?

SIXTY DOLLARS WORTH OF FLAPJACKS

Sometimes you just gotta do the muh-fuckin' Chilly Willy. This snippet has a Great Recession theme. I think Chillz gets to keep the booster seat, however. It's a metaphor of some sort:

NOTE: Chillz is slightly more verbal than Curious George.