It's maps. Nerds love that shit. HBO obviously knew this, because the first thing you see when you watch the show isn't some hot nude costume-drama ladies or dudes gettin' their heads chopped off. It's a map. A map with details that grow while you look at it. A map that isn't quite the same from week to week. Wait, IS HBO MAKING FUN OF NERDS?
There is actually no connection between the next two videos, other than the fact that I watched them on the same day, and I thought it might be really cool to get these kids together for a playdate or something:
Yer Poppa ain't usually all zeitgeisty in his hate, but apparently I'm not the only MF who's nixing the bracketology this year despite being a sports fan in general. Dudes have their reasons. For me, it's about my ever-waning ties to the product. In my ever-contracting mind, college basketball has become a thing for:
• college kids • dudes who still wish they were in college • dudes who really really like basketball • dudes and chicks who went to one of the colleges that give Dick Vitale super-stiff wood • dudes and chicks who went to colleges that got really good at basketball only recently and now have a nationally viable brand name because of it (which, technically, is a subset of "colleges that give Dick Vitale super-stiff wood") • people who will wager $5 on anything
Anyway, I'm not any of those things right now. So ... no bracket.
(Sorry about all the orange dicks. Kinda looks like some Keith Haring shit, though, which is nice.)
You know how in calculus, the "limit" of any equation is important? Because decimals can always get smaller and smaller? Or something like that? Like, because some equations can't hit 7 ever because there's always another decimal point after 6.999999999999999? If hip-hop is some giant equation -- and you know somebody somewhere is trying to compute that shit; don't even tell me they aren't; rap dudes inevitably see Pi and think they can be that guy -- then Lil B's raison d'être is to fuck infinitely/infinitesimally with all the variables that represent "coherence" and "purpose." This "Breath Slow" thing certainly ain't verging on the potentially deepest point of the trough, but it's goin' down down down:
I wish he would've truly tested whether his pants would stay up with the revolver in the band.
All these 2003 traxxx presage the Cali non-genre's stony AM-frequency '70s/'80s-ish-ness. Of course MF Doom/King Geedorah WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE in the '70s and '80s, so all of this is more about synthesis than recycling, but still:
I was having a conversation with one of my female friends, a gynaecologist last week poolside at the Hilton and she dropped a phrase on me that struck my funny bone, right in the sweet spot, so much so I almost spat out my apple vodka martini. She was railing about how Jamaica was a land of the 'traumatised vaginas' because of the 'daggering culture' that prevails in this country and how men need to understand the delicate petals of a flower that is a woman and blah-de-blah-blah-blah.
I wasn't surprised.
NOTE: LOUD REGGAE MUSIC WILL COME OUT IF YOU CLICK.
4. If all of that is true, there will soon be a significant uptick in the number of PENN STATE and HAPPY VALLEY items being shipped to Africa.
5. Assuming that many of the recipients of these clothes might be unfamiliar with American institutions of higher learning — and the Sandusky scandal is probably not in the news in their countries — then the brand "Penn State" will have increased visibility (benignly) in the eyes of Africans.
6. If increased visibility = higher status, then it is highly possible that Penn State will see an increase in interest from African citizens in the coming years.
They have the unsettling grain of found footage and the lurid pull of fixed-viewpoint surveillance images. Like something out of an art project. And if a band is built to be poorly recorded and still sound like itself, it's Lightning Bolt. IF YOU ARE TRULY A BADASS, PLAY ALL THREE AT THE SAME TIME.
It's late. I'm watching a college football game that I do not care about. This comes on. These dudes fight and fight and fight and fight. They are achievers. They are backed by Mazzy Star. I do not cry, but I feel hollow and alone. Afterward, I care even less about the college football game.
The Unknown Comic was a guy with a bag on his head. As far as I can tell, only one man ever performed as the Unknown Comic. But, really, there could have been many, many men who did so. Like MF Doom: Dude wears a helmet, so you can never be sure if you're paying to see the real MF Doom, right? Ditto for the Globetrotters. And Bigfoot and Gravedigger, too. MANY MANY UNKNOWN COMICS MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN TAKING YOUR MONEY. If we bring the Tony Clifton model of identity-transferrance into the discussion, things get a little more complicated, from an ontological standpoint, of course.
Shit, the Unknown Comic was Canadian? THIS IS OFFICIALLY A MATTER OF NATIONAL SECURITY.
This is exactly the kind of song that Yer Poppa prefers to dredge up from some previous era's silt-pile with the full intention of suggesting that perhaps all y'all suckers might've been semi-ignorant to its charms, in light of the fact that your suckerishness might've caused you to categorize it before enjoying it (or caused you to forgo attempting to enjoy it at all). It is one of many in that non-category category. The song also is neither a deep cut nor an obscurity, and thus it is now immune to the baggage of tastemaking. And that's cool, yo, because he talks about dudes who like to fight with pool cues. That rules, bro. INTERNAL RHYME BLITZKRIEG, POPPA STYLE. Anyway:
If your vacation is based on some sort of volunteering that involves an activity which is otherwise generally optional for the local people, then you're probably on an advenchore. Going to Haiti to help after the earthquake would not meet the definition. That's not really an advenchore; you're providing a critical service in a time of profound need. Flying to Africa to help a relatively stable and prosperous village paint a community center? That's probably an advenchore.
Dope Mixtape Site is a site that provides allegedly dope mixtapes. It doesn't matter whether they are actually dope, however, because at a minimum, you know exactly what the site aims to provide to you. And that is an accomplishment.
I think more sites should have "site" in their names instead of ".com" or whatever. So, like, NewYorkTimes.com could instead be New York Times Site. Or 1-800-Flowers.com could be Send People Flowers Site. That kind of thing. Google could be Search Site. That would be awesome.
There's nothing more brutally soulless than a Blake Griffin dunk: The man-child elevates. He extends a meat-hook. The ball blows through the hoop. I want to die. Seriously, think of all the brutally soulless shit in the world. Blake Griffin dunks are worse than whatever you're thinking of. And I don't even hate the Clippers. But when Blake Griffin dunks, God gets the urge take a dump.